Black Women Have the Ugliest Engagement Rings
“When it comes to engagement rings, white women just don’t stop winning.” I tweeted this recently, after a weekend of being around copious amounts of white women, and their engagement rings/wedding sets. Around the fourth paragraph or so, things could get dicey for us black chicks though. If you are black, recently engaged or married OR long engaged or married, but extremely defensive and sensitive about your shit, it will be best to exit this post. I am holding little to no punches in my opinion on this one. More than anything, though, I am inquisitive, so maybe if you can stomach it all the way through you can help me out. It’s definitely not ALL of us, my good friend Lindsey, who is getting married this summer; hit the holy grail of engagement rings. Emerald cut, 1.5 ct solitaire, clear as a summer day…but countless nameless black women are running through life with crap on their hands, and white women who are just as established, or not established, are SHITTING on us in the ring department. We need to take a look at this.
On Friday, my family and I attended a Washington Nationals game. We sat in 10 buck seating. It wasn’t the land of the overly wealthy, no lower level. Good view, mostly sensible middle class folks, who enjoyed baseball…but not enough to drop a year’s worth of college tuition on better season tickets. My point is, we weren’t likely surrounded by millionaires. That said, I didn’t see ONE center stone underneath a carat. Whether it was set in gold or platinum, flanked by side stones, or a solitaire, none of these white women sported less than a carat. I’d even be willing to bet nothing was under a carat and a half.
For the most part, when I see white women with something sparkly on their left hand…whether they are shopping for groceries, playing with children, doing their taxes, or even just chilling at Starbucks, that sparkle is RARELY less than 1.5 carats. And it typically looks clear. I know you’re sitting here thinking…Cara, how the fuck do you know the size and clarity at a glance? WEYOLL…diamonds are my birth stone. I have spent a good deal of my life OBSESSED with them. Ask any friend, she’ll tell you I had my engagement ring size, shape, and clarity requirements on lock at 18. On my very first blog, I detailed my wedding, starting with the ring. I spent some dark times post child birth really Earth conscious and didn’t even want a white diamond, but I am back in the real world now, and I couldn’t love them more. I am really into studying cuts now, as people are getting more and more non-traditional these days with their diamond shapes. But, sufficed to say, I know my diamonds.
Now, let’s get dangerous…black women usually have ugly engagement rings. For the most part, I don’t know many engaged or married women with tragedies on their left ring fingers personally, but I see them everywhere. The “three stone ring” is apparently a black man’s dream stone for his future black bride. It can be done well (4th roommate actually has a friend who did a pretty GREAT job on a three stone ring this summer) but typically it isn’t. Usually, I see three stone rings with fewer than 2 ctw and they have the NERVE to be cloudy diamonds and I am just like…why? Then don’t get me started on INVISIBLE SOLITAIRES. If you have an invisible solitaire ring, and enjoy it? I need you to walk outside right now, look up in the sky and yell “WHY HATH YE FORSAKEN ME?” to the hoodrat gods from whence you so clearly came. Invisible solitaires are like the shit stain on the back of the underwear of the engagement ring of life. If you are wondering WHAT an invisible solitaire is, please see the image above this paragraph or the one prominently featured in the post. It’s a cluster of small, usually princess cut diamonds, clustered together in a larger square or rectangle shape, terribly attempting to pass themselves off as a larger diamond. And, as black women, we are severely overusing this style of ring. It makes me so sad. Are we just so happy to get married that we are wearing whatever on our fingers? Is it that cold of a world out here?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not even always *size*…Lebron James just bought the mother of his children a huge HEART SHAPED DIAMOND. I guess what they say is true. You can take the negro out of tacky Akron…but…well you know the rest. If it happens to be larger, it’s some catastrophic shape, set in some ugly band. I know quite a few broads running around with 2 carats of Jewelry Factory diamond on their fingers too. If they offer a military discount at your jewelry store, first of all, you need to leave…but secondly, you need to understand that wholesale, ‘everything’s bigger’ type stores usually sell cloudy diamonds. You need every inch of Rihanna’s umbrella because your stone might be huge, but it looks like it’s about to be a fucking monsoon out that bitch. Cloudy and big is not ok either, guys.
So seriously, what is the deal with black women and ugly rings? My best friend and I have discussed this at length, as she works with a number of women who are married. She has assessed that even the worst rings with white owners are bigger, brighter and better looking than the best with black owners, save for the ones without children, or in the six figure salary range. I even find that WHITE WOMEN WITH BLACK HUSBANDS make out better than black women. At the park this weekend, two white moms were cradling sockless, biracial black babies with tiny Gibraltar’s on their fingers. So…you mean to tell me it’s not black MEN? They can spot a gorgeous ring? They just keep putting them on white fingers?? Wtf.
Are we diamond, class and taste deficient? Is it a salary or credit issue? The standard diamond engagement ring is supposed to be 2-3 months’ salary in cost. In our economic recession, are black men unaware of that rule OR just unable to see the value in ponying up that kind of a cost? I would much rather be RINGLESS or wear an heirloom ring or even get a tattoo in place of a ring until I can afford something NICE than walk around with trash on my hand. Why are we so quick to accept and rock trash? Are we blinded by the pride in our love? I JUST DON’T GET IT. What does your ring look like? Do you love it or hate it? If you aren’t married, tell me what you envision your perfect ring to be…if it’s an invisible solitaire though, I am deleting your comment and banning you from my blog.Tags: black women with ugly rings, diamonds, engagement rings, invisible solitaire, rings, ugly engagement rings, white women winning