Black Women Have the Ugliest Engagement Rings
Hoodrat Chic
“When it comes to engagement rings, white women just don’t stop winning.” I tweeted this recently, after a weekend of being around copious amounts of white women, and their engagement rings/wedding sets. Around the fourth paragraph or so, things could get dicey for us black chicks though. If you are black, recently engaged or married OR long engaged or married, but extremely defensive and sensitive about your shit, it will be best to exit this post. I am holding little to no punches in my opinion on this one. More than anything, though, I am inquisitive, so maybe if you can stomach it all the way through you can help me out. It’s definitely not ALL of us, my good friend Lindsey, who is getting married this summer; hit the holy grail of engagement rings. Emerald cut, 1.5 ct solitaire, clear as a summer day…but countless nameless black women are running through life with crap on their hands, and white women who are just as established, or not established, are SHITTING on us in the ring department. We need to take a look at this.
On Friday, my family and I attended a Washington Nationals game. We sat in 10 buck seating. It wasn’t the land of the overly wealthy, no lower level. Good view, mostly sensible middle class folks, who enjoyed baseball…but not enough to drop a year’s worth of college tuition on better season tickets. My point is, we weren’t likely surrounded by millionaires. That said, I didn’t see ONE center stone underneath a carat. Whether it was set in gold or platinum, flanked by side stones, or a solitaire, none of these white women sported less than a carat. I’d even be willing to bet nothing was under a carat and a half.
For the most part, when I see white women with something sparkly on their left hand…whether they are shopping for groceries, playing with children, doing their taxes, or even just chilling at Starbucks, that sparkle is RARELY less than 1.5 carats. And it typically looks clear. I know you’re sitting here thinking…Cara, how the fuck do you know the size and clarity at a glance? WEYOLL…diamonds are my birth stone. I have spent a good deal of my life OBSESSED with them. Ask any friend, she’ll tell you I had my engagement ring size, shape, and clarity requirements on lock at 18. On my very first blog, I detailed my wedding, starting with the ring. I spent some dark times post child birth really Earth conscious and didn’t even want a white diamond, but I am back in the real world now, and I couldn’t love them more. I am really into studying cuts now, as people are getting more and more non-traditional these days with their diamond shapes. But, sufficed to say, I know my diamonds.
Invisible. Shitittaire.
Now, let’s get dangerous…black women usually have ugly engagement rings. For the most part, I don’t know many engaged or married women with tragedies on their left ring fingers personally, but I see them everywhere. The “three stone ring” is apparently a black man’s dream stone for his future black bride. It can be done well (4th roommate actually has a friend who did a pretty GREAT job on a three stone ring this summer) but typically it isn’t. Usually, I see three stone rings with fewer than 2 ctw and they have the NERVE to be cloudy diamonds and I am just like…why? Then don’t get me started on INVISIBLE SOLITAIRES. If you have an invisible solitaire ring, and enjoy it? I need you to walk outside right now, look up in the sky and yell “WHY HATH YE FORSAKEN ME?” to the hoodrat gods from whence you so clearly came. Invisible solitaires are like the shit stain on the back of the underwear of the engagement ring of life. If you are wondering WHAT an invisible solitaire is, please see the image above this paragraph or the one prominently featured in the post. It’s a cluster of small, usually princess cut diamonds, clustered together in a larger square or rectangle shape, terribly attempting to pass themselves off as a larger diamond. And, as black women, we are severely overusing this style of ring. It makes me so sad. Are we just so happy to get married that we are wearing whatever on our fingers? Is it that cold of a world out here?
Yes. Yes it is.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not even always *size*…Lebron James just bought the mother of his children a huge HEART SHAPED DIAMOND. I guess what they say is true. You can take the negro out of tacky Akron…but…well you know the rest. If it happens to be larger, it’s some catastrophic shape, set in some ugly band. I know quite a few broads running around with 2 carats of Jewelry Factory diamond on their fingers too. If they offer a military discount at your jewelry store, first of all, you need to leave…but secondly, you need to understand that wholesale, ‘everything’s bigger’ type stores usually sell cloudy diamonds. You need every inch of Rihanna’s umbrella because your stone might be huge, but it looks like it’s about to be a fucking monsoon out that bitch. Cloudy and big is not ok either, guys.
So seriously, what is the deal with black women and ugly rings? My best friend and I have discussed this at length, as she works with a number of women who are married. She has assessed that even the worst rings with white owners are bigger, brighter and better looking than the best with black owners, save for the ones without children, or in the six figure salary range. I even find that WHITE WOMEN WITH BLACK HUSBANDS make out better than black women. At the park this weekend, two white moms were cradling sockless, biracial black babies with tiny Gibraltar’s on their fingers. So…you mean to tell me it’s not black MEN? They can spot a gorgeous ring? They just keep putting them on white fingers?? Wtf.
Must be no darker than THIS SKIN COLOR to own this ring
Are we diamond, class and taste deficient? Is it a salary or credit issue? The standard diamond engagement ring is supposed to be 2-3 months’ salary in cost. In our economic recession, are black men unaware of that rule OR just unable to see the value in ponying up that kind of a cost? I would much rather be RINGLESS or wear an heirloom ring or even get a tattoo in place of a ring until I can afford something NICE than walk around with trash on my hand. Why are we so quick to accept and rock trash? Are we blinded by the pride in our love? I JUST DON’T GET IT. What does your ring look like? Do you love it or hate it? If you aren’t married, tell me what you envision your perfect ring to be…if it’s an invisible solitaire though, I am deleting your comment and banning you from my blog.
Tags: black women with ugly rings, diamonds, engagement rings, invisible solitaire, rings, ugly engagement rings, white women winning
i know a chick that had a rose gold wedding band with a yellow diamond in it. WHY?
That’s a color NIGHTMARE. I had never seen it live and in person, actually, so just to make sure I was correct in my assessment I googled the two things together, and its really ugly. That seems like a rap song influenced choice lol
why would this even exist?? lol
I wouldn’t classify this as a race issue. It’s definitely a class and socioeconomic issue. I think the sample you are looking at is probably low-class or originating from a lower class. For example, the Mercedes Benz. Why is it that Black people get rich and buy Benzs? Well, because they haven’t been wealthy long enough to know that a Prius is a way better investment. However, if you find a wealthy Black couple and i’m not talking about Shaq, i’m talking long money. Those couples are more likely to spend wisely and maturely. I know plenty of Black women who are married who have gorgeous rings. In fact, most of the married Black women in my network have appropriate and very beautiful rings. Tacky doesn’t have a race. I know white people who have hideous rings as well. It’s all a decision to be made. Always think to yourself before assigning race, is this a race issue or class issue? Trust me on that, this is a class issue, not race.
I am not super sure what kind of people you think I am running into, but the engaged and married women I associate with aren’t exactly “rags to riches”…most of them were raised in middle if not upper class environments. While I agree with you to some extent, yes, class dictates what you are going to enjoy/desire… I’d be hard pressed to say that I personally didn’t see uglier rings on black women of ALL socio-economic backgrounds, on the whole, which is why I wrote this. I am a stay at home mom, in Annapolis, Maryland. My day to day activities include a TON of other mothers and married women, mostly ones that stay at home as well. I belong to two organizations in my city totally dedicated to stay home mothers, one of which is WHOLLY comprised of black women. I am in another organization that completely caters to mother’s of multiple birth children. We are members of a private park and recreation center. I am not saying all this to say I am flossing or balling (I worry about money openly in this blog) but I am saying that I don’t do ANYTHING but hang around married women…most of whom are not struggling, and of my tiny slice of the American pie, the black ones have the uglier rings. But…that’s way too long to fit in a title, so…
It doesn’t have to be rags to riches. You can very well be upper-middle class and have no class. That happens everyday. It’s just not a race issue because there are white women with ridiculous rings too. Social norms aren’t typically attributed to race. It’s usually class. If you know better than you know better. And it’s true that education and knowledge is usually shared at the higher classes of society and doesn’t trickle all the way down.
Well said! I have nothing more to add.
Definitely an issue of race, and more so upbringing. Considering that there very few married black mothers, it is fathomable to believe that those black mothers aren’t teaching their daughters about engagement ring selection. That glass ceiling most blacks experience exists even in the purchase of jewelry when you see someone of color walk right past a reputable jeweler and over to one of those blinged out kiosks.
“Considering that there very few married black mothers, it is fathomable to believe that those black mothers aren’t teaching their daughters about engagement ring selection.” –nice. I am surprised I didn’t consider this, but this explains A LOT.
Flawed logic and I can prove it.
Answer this question, are you saying that because she’s Black she’s unmarried? Exactly what about being Black causes you to be single and not married? This is exactly what I mean by it’s not a race issue, it’s a class issue. The only way that scenario works is if the numbers were the same regardless of class, but the number of single Black women actually goes down with higher income. Funny, most women with Master’s degrees and who earn more than Black men complain they’re always single and can’t find a man. The data is just not there to support those facts.
Maybe this will help, “According to the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, by the age of thirty nearly 81 percent of white women and 77 percent of Hispanics and Asians will marry, but that only 52 percent of black women will marry by that age.”. Granted, you can find some article or “credible news source” to report statistics leaning whichever way you would like to believe, I’m speaking from personal experience as a black woman. From what I’ve witnessed, and conversations I’ve had time and time again with other black women, as well as women of other racial backgrounds. So, no, I do not think that trailer park Becky is discussing engagement ring selection with her daughter either. However, I do believe that the average working-class black mother is less likely to discuss ring selection with her daughter than the average working-class white mother.
Final reply here…
I’m not saying that you can’t read, but I just want to make sure you saw what my point was.
I said that as the wealth increases so does the rate of marriage. Look at those same stats by race/income and you will see some numbers start to shift. But…
At first when I saw your blog I was cracking up but ONE thing came to mind…..the one friend I have with this ugly ass ring!
She’s white – wishes she were Latina – label whore to the end. Everything on her from head to toe is label, label, label. So when she got engaged, her (puerto rican) boyfriend gave her a very nice, modest ring. Then they got married and for htheir anniversary, she “upgraded” her ring to something like what you posted – UGLY. Why? Well, of course for the appearnace of a bigger ring. The “Compete with the Jones’” syndrome!
I’m just saying – - – she certainly “likes” nice thing but why on God’s green earth would she “upgrade” to that ring is neither race nor class – just stupidness.
BTW – I love the blog!
I want my mother’s ring style with a larger diamond. A simple classic solitaire with a medium sized band. The sad thing about some of the “black woman rings” that you mention is that they ARE in fact expensive. Just gaudy and cheap looking smh. I would even bet that many of them helped their husband pick them out.
Call me hood (the daughter of a family therapist and an engineer) but I have located and emailed to my ‘fourth roomate’ the 2 carat yellow diamond, platinum band ring that I want him to proposition me with. I have also made it clear that unless Gucci mane’s ‘lemonade’ is playing in the background I will decline his offer.
I don’t know if we (black women like myself) don’t know, so much as we don’t care! I know what I want, and I must admit to feeling a certain level of excitement in discovering that most white women wouldn’t want the same. Is it classless because white women don’t want it or is it integrationist-groupisim to want it because white women have it??
Ma’am…aside from the Gucci playing behind your boo on one knee…what is undesirable or hood about a 2 ct yellow diamond in a platinum band? Also, I love Gucci. 4th Roomie would never agree to anything in life with a Gucci song as the soundtrack. I am super jealous.
I sell jewelry full time while looking for a job in my field. And I have to agree. Most black mothers don’t teach their daughters about color, carity, carat weight and cut. All they know is big and sparkle. Granted my mother didn’t teach me a lot about them either but she told me don’t accept something just because it’s shiny.
While I was working in Memphis before I moved to Atlanta, I had women off all backgrounds come in and cry over rings that their partners wouldn’t buy them. I also had women feel as if they had won because they got promise rings. Now that I’m in the suburbs of Atlanta, I can’t sell a promise ring (even to a boy of 15) and the women are more educated on color and clarity. I’ve see lots of large clear stones come in for cleaning and randomly now the white women are getting the invisible settings and quads.
I think it is a matter of what you learn beforehand to accept or if you just want something large and shiny because he offered that.
Artieka……..what’s your discount like though? lol thanks for reading!
I love my ring, I actually picked it out and while I don’t know shit about diamonds, I’m happy. My fiance would have preferred me to get a bigger ring, but I’m really not into these things. However, I can appreciate a nice engagement ring and it does seem that those of fairer skin do seem to bode better than my cocoa skinned sistren… Good post. I love your blog!
Thanks for reading Angel! And I am glad you love your ring…and it seems smart that your fiance let you pick yours out! Best way to get the best results!
I’ve been a professional wedding planner for the past 5 years. I deal with women and men of all races, religious faiths, and different classes aka MONEY! From my experience, I have to agree with Cara on this one. The majority of my black clients have had “nice” rings. Nothing uber fancy, nothing over 1-1.5 total ctw. Aside from 3 of them who all married black men who were in the NFL, or just doing really well for themselves the other rings just didn’t compare to some of my white, indian, and asian clients. In the latter, it’s mostly solitaires or vintage settings with GINORMOUS center stones that have the utmost clarity.
Don’t know what it is, but it’s definitely true. In my opinion having a 20,000 diamond on your ring finger doesn’t make your engagement, marriage etc any more special than someone who has a cracker jack ring on their finger. It’s actually some of those higher end rings where the marriages are shitty.org. All they have is a fancy ring to show for it.
The economy is rough right now, not every man can afford to really invest in a diamond ring the way women would like them to. If his heart is there, his mind is set and 2 people have come to terms that this is what they want for the rest of their lives to hell with all the 4c’s and just get married!!!! Hence the reason why upgrades happen. My parents have been married for 26 years and together for 30. My dad didn’t even have a ring when he proposed but you better believe when they got hitched he had a diamond ring. It’s nothing fancy but it’s beautiful to me and my mom b/c they had 4 kids combined when they got married the typical brady bunch situation. 15 years into the marriage he UPGRADED HER LIKE WHOA. And she upgraded him as well. Finances weren’t so ample back in 1985 but later on they got it together and made it happen for themselves. I pray that I have a marriage with half as much love, commitment and dedication that they have shown me and my husband.
We’ve talked about this outside of the blogosphere Adhari, but I totally agree with your line of thinking. Upgrade your ring later if you only have the love now
I am white/European, my husband is black/West Indian. I have no engagement ring whatsoever purely because I consider ALL these big rings ugly and tacky. All I have is a wedding band, same as my husband’s, just thinner. No stone. I didn’t what one (although my husband wanted me to have it). And I would never, NEVER, (did I say never?) pay this kind of money for something so useless like a ring. A stone, regardless of its clarity, size or price is no proof of love. I know way too many divorced women with diamond rings they would gladly trade for happiness…
Nina, I know a TON of happily divorced women who made great diamond necklaces from their stones in their engagement rings too
. The bottom line for me is that diamonds are ever valuable, and of course like I said earlier, they are my birth stone. For me, the diamond doesn’t prove love, but it certainly is a symbol of my worth to my husband. Its a tradition that I consider timeless. I do agree that the things that symbolize your love are a matter of preference though. I am happy you are happy without a diamond.
one conclusion I’ve come to after reading this post, Cara I will be coming to you for advice on rings when that time comes for me lol
Armwood, I have a great success rate when it comes to picking out rings. Feel free to get at me. And thanks for reading!
Very interesting indeed.
I may have to blog an excerpt of this (of course, linking you for the full read) to see what my readers have to say.
I am both intrigued, and worried at the same time. However, I stand behind my writing, so feel free to use it. Thanks for reading!
Stumbled onto your post over on SBM earlier…I won’t go on a diatribe about the 4 Cs because I honestly haven’t studied them nor do I care to. However, I’ve been actively looking at e-rings for my lady and I have this general stance; I want the type of ring for her that she’ll be proud to show off. I mean that’s why women fret over them anyway. I also look at e-rings from the standpoint of if 1 of my female friends came to me and showed me this ring, would I judge or would I be impressed by its overall styling?
I do agree up-thread w/ Dr. Jay though that this is a class thing, more than it is racial. For the upwardly mobile, mothers groom their daughters from a very early age about the quality and value of jewelry. More often than not, those daughters grow into women who spend a great deal of their own money of quality jewelry. So it’s a given for them to expect that out of an e-ring. My general advice to my friends is if you can’t afford something REASONABLY close to the e-ring of her dreams, wait and save up. Or have a damn good plan to upgrade her after year 1
I agree wholeheartedly that you should discuss ring choice with your partner, find out what she wants, and if you can’t afford it, SAVE for it until you can. I have plenty of friends who I respect wearing bands until they can afford the “ring of her dreams”. I also am a fan of heirloom rings, unless they are horribly ugly lol. A lot of times, one of the best things a couple can inherit from the loss of a parent, a divorce, or just from parents who want to pass down Grandma & Grandpa’s set is a nice, valuable ring. That gives a couple plenty of time to save for what they want and still have something to pass down to their offspring in the future.
I am also happy to see a man interested in pleasing his woman with choice of ring, because rather than comment, I have a lot of male readers who expressed to me privately that my sentiment about being happy to be married should be all that a woman have. I spoke my peace on the class issue. In my experience, living in a well-to-do area and associating with mostly mothers, who have the luxury of not working, on the whole I see better rings on white fingers. I certainly see his POINT and understand that on a larger scale, class obviously factors in, but from where I am sitting, from the hood to the burbs, we just are losing.
As a divorced and now engaged black woman, I can say that I liked my first ring and LOVE my second. Trust me, I know about cut, clarity, weight and all of that. I’m a make-up artist and 3 of my favorite clients just happen to be gemologists. They have given me invaluable lessons on said subject. My engagement ring from my first husband was a 1/4 ct princess cut diamond. I was ok with it because we were really young and trying to establish ourselves, Lo and behold at the wedding he surprises me with a 4 ct (2ct center stone, 2cts side stones) ring! The only drawback..it was a Marquise cut which I loathe, but that was the same cut his mother had, so that’s what he thought was hot. My band was a 2ct diamond band making my set a total of 6 cts. Not too shabby, And yes the stones were as clear as crystal, but the center stone sat up so high that I was constantly snagging it or knocking it against something. Fast forward to new engagement, all I really wanted was a diamond band. Did I get it? Nope. Got a 2 ct Princess cut Diamond solitaire. Love it, but again, sits too high. Maybe by the time we get married, I’ll get my band!!
http://racked.com/archives/2011/06/17/7-giant-diamond-engagement-rings-to-ogle-from-david-yurman.php
Seriously, anyone who is concerned more about the quality of the engagement ring rather than the quality of the marriage is materialistic. Rings don’t last forever, shit happens, just be happy he proposed to you. It’s more important that you have a lasting marriage than an expensive ass ring (that he probably can’t afford) , and invest in something more meaningful. such as a family, a home, a family business….something that you can pass on to your offspring when you grow old. Being materialistic isn’t going to help a marriage last.
& Yes have standards, but be real.
Super late, but this post isn’t about quality of marriage. I am sure one day on my blog I will get around to writing a post about how to have a quality marriage, but right now this post is about people with ugly engagement rings. I didn’t say ANYWHERE that the ring is more important than the marriage. So, while I am sure your comment was relevant to some post, it just wasn’t this one!
Further, I think its so important to recognize that people place value on DIFFERENT things. Being ring conscious doesn’t mean you’ll be a bad wife, not being ring conscious definitely doesn’t mean you’ll be a good one.
My beautiful mother just got married and ha a ratchet ring. She is now looking for a new set and is magcactually bringing me along to find one with her. I she likes smaller diamonds, where I hate that look period. w
Another friend (black) has a tiny princess Diana, and my white coworker has the full sized one.
I personally want a rose gold eternity band for my engagement ring. Ive told my mother and I have faith she that she will let whoever I’m with know. Because I don’t want anything else
lol at ‘ratchet’ I love it. I am glad she is taking you to help her out. And I like eternity bands as engagement rings. When paired with wedding bands they are usually super brilliant/reflective and gorgeous.
This was great, nice job. I’m planning to write about ugly engagement rings & this came up in my search, so happy it did – made my day.
Thanks for checking me out Paula!
i love my ring and the style. It’s a round cut center stone(not an invisible diamond lol) with tiny inset diamonds in a white gold band. My husband picked it out on his own, though he had a general idea idea of what i would like. my “ideal” ring though, would just be my ring with like 2 carat center stone..which i don’t have right now lol. Just to throw in something else i’ve noticed in regards to ring size/worth/cost. I got married relativity young in comparison to most of my friends. I was 25 and my husband was 27. As such, he couldn’t afford a super expensive ring, nor did I want him to spend a ton of money on my ring. But now a lot of people I know are getting engaged and getting married and i’m looking around like..damn all these girls got huge diamonds! and I think its because they are marrying a little older men who are more established and have more money now. I get the whole argument of race and class but sometimes..it really is just about money too.
Its not that I don’t think money and class come into play Ang, its just that I have seen plenty of black women who I consider to be of the middle/upper middle and even higher class who have ugly rings. I know some of them are from years prior perhaps, and they keep them for sentiment, because they consider that symbol most important, but I just also see plenty of young women who should know better and are black that don’t and are walking around with garbage lol. I LOVE your rings though, they are so gorgeous. Both your wedding band/engagement ring, and wedding actually were such a great testament to how age/amount of money shouldn’t really dictate a lack of class/elegance.
[...] Now, let's get dangerous…black women usually have ugly engagement rings. … The bottom line for me is that diamonds are ever valuable, and of course… Find full site [...]
First off. diamonds look BETTER ON DARK SKIN (IN PARTICULAR BLACK) BECAUSE THATS WHERE DIAMONDS COME FROM OUR CONTINENT FOOL, AND SECONDLY ALL OF THOSE BLINGY LARGE DIAMONDS THAT YOU SEE ON THOSE WHITE HANDS ARE USUALLY BLOOD DIAMONDS, THAT IS DIAMONDS DUG OUT THE WET GROUNDS OF AFRICA USUALLY MINED BY LITTLE BOYS. THESE RICHLY SUPREME MINERAL RESOURCES BELONG TO US NOT THEM. INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW BLACK LADIES HAVE UGLY DIAMOND RINGS , YOU SHOULD BE INFORMING THE WHITE HANDS THAT WEAR THESE SO CALLED BEAUTIFUL RINGS THAT IT IS MY PEOPLE THAT PAINSTAKINGLY DIG IN THE GROUND TO DISTRIBUTE THOSE SUPREME ROCKS THAT THEY ARE WEARING. WE SHOULD BE USING OUR DIAMONDS TO REBUILD OUR CONTINENT. DIAMONDS ARE NOT FOUND IN EUROPE WAKE UP
I’m late to the party, love your blog. I completely agree with your assessment of rings worn by black women. I was engaged once and the ring was so small I told him to get me another one (was that wrong?). I saw that engagement ring as his out ward show of the value he placed on our relationship before marriage. My second ring was just perfect, clarity, cut, and size.
I understand that diamonds come from Africa and I really do care that they are mined in harsh conditions I STILL WANTED MY DIAMOND RING (sorry) I will repent later
Are you even married? I dont know you but you seem very ignorant and like you fall in to the category of women that will never marrythis article was pointless because ovbiously if black men had more money they would buy a better rings and then some of the other dumb forever lonely women jump on board with you dont knoe what marriage is about or just make sure YOU get your husband a nice wedding band and not just the basic kind since youre so materialistic
Good point! Men should know how to write complete sentences, spell and use spell check!!!
If he could that it means he’s educated enough to know that he needs to get his woman a nice ring, and the means to do so.
thanks for shedding light on the issue Mr. Baker! Xoxo
I am married. Nearly my whole blog is dedicated to my marriage and children. In fact, I am planning a giant wedding to renew my vows with my husband in front of my family. And I have a beautiful 2 carat round brilliant diamond ring. But thank you, I appreciate your feedback and opinion anyway!
I was googling “men engagement rings” because I wanted to get my wonderful fiance a ring as well and your post appeared in my search results. When I clicked on the link, the first thing I saw was a picture on my engagment ring (the one with labeled “hoodrat chick”). I smiled and it warmed my heart to see such a beautiful picture of it. As I read further down the blog, I understood what it was truly about and it made me sick to my stomach. I felt as if a mockery was made of not only my ring but everything it stood for. Sister, I respect your opinion and at one point of my life, I would have agreed with you. But I have grown since then and have been blessed with the love of a man so strong, I couldn’t have imagined. I have been engaged two times before and both rings, according to your standards, would have met you approval, however, the love that it symbolized wasn’t worth a damn. This time, I have the love of a lifetime with a man who would go through hell & back for me. This man loves me in ways I know I will never understand. Honestly, I would much rather have the love and loyalty of a truly good man then a glamorous ring from a man who doesn’t have that type of love for me. Bottom line, it’s not the total carat weight, cut, color, or clarity. My ring symbolizes the love of a lifetime. The type of love most wish they have, even with their 2+ carat V V S princess cut solitaire in a Tiffany platinum setting. Please don’t take this as me being angry, or defensive. In fact, thanks to you, I love and appreciate my ring that much more after reading your blog.
You definitely have some opinions about what you dislike…I have a nearly flawless, large, heart-cut diamond in my engagement ring…and it’s stunning. Not tacky. Not “ghetto”. Not cheap. Custom-designed by the among the best jewelers in the industry and set so tastefully. I agree with you on invisible set rings though – not my cup of tea either. Not everyone loves what you love…and vice/versa. Personally I find round stones boring and played out, while you seem to find most fancy shapes atrocious. In the end, to each their own.
I found this post to be hilarious and really honest. I am currently dating a physical therapist that I know does very well for himself ( I have seen his bank statements) and we talk marriage. I care for this man and can see myself marrying him one day. However, if were to drop to one knee and pulls out a ratchet-Forever-21 looking ring I will say no. Why? Because he CAN afford the type of ring I want and the ring will be a tangible reflection of his love for me. If he gets me the F-21 ring with a foggy stone and ugly setting I will know that he did NOT care that much about me to do the research to know that kind of ring is not going to cut it. No pun intended.
BTW, I love your blog Cara. It is so full of win.
Thank you for coming! I am so happy you read it. And good luck with the physical therapist! I can’t wait to see what kind of ring you get! And please keep coming back! I need more Cali readers
Also you claim diamonds are a timeless tradition…you do know that’s just an advertising scheme, right? Diamonds are NOT a traditional engagement stone outside of the last 100 years…when DeBeers began to aggressively and successfully market the diamond as the “only stone that counts”.
I think, generally, when people call something timeless, it means that regardless of when it began, its become something so pivotal/important that you can’t put a “timestamp” on. Its not literal. There are a ton of things people consider timeless that actually have a very distinct point of origin.
I totally get that…and I wear a diamond myself. But it’s just a fact that we’ve only come to view diamonds as “traditional” stones because of a massive advertisement campaign.
I personally think your post was super funny. Too many ladies on weddingbee are WAY to uptight about rings. No one will come out and say when someone’s ring is ugly. They’re dumb, this shit is funny.
Thank you for reading! you’re awesome!
Saw you found my post on the ‘Bee – I’m sorry there’s been dra-motional crap on the ‘Bee lately and those ladies are beginning to be too damn sensitive. Half of them have ugly rings or think there are ugly rings but no one will come out and say it (or they have ugly, fat fingers but no one will say anything about that either).
Just wanted you to know that I love your writing style and I agree with this post – my FI is black and his whole family is full of ugly e-rings, except his mom who has the plainest solitaire possible.
I think your blog is HILARIOUS. Oh my god I couldn’t stop laughing… I work in SE DC (very much the hood) and the rings I see around me are all 100% the raggedy invisible set rings that look like a combination of dryer lint and dirty dishwater. They’re not even sparkly!
This is the best blog I’ve ever read. My roommate and I are dying laughing. You write so well! Seriously, great post!
Thank you so much for reading! Please visit again
Well I have the Hoodrat Chic ring, and call it what you want… I love it. I am also highly educated with a masters degree and an excellent job. My husband just made partner at a prestigious law firm. We are not ghetto or classless, so for the comments above.. I do believe you should consider the source. What I like is what I like.
Oh my God.. this made me laugh so hard. I was googling “black diamond rings” (black stone, of course) and came across this. Hilarious.
Are Marquise engagement rings outdated?
A co-worker of mine proudly sports one of these disasters. I am not judging and believe that everyone is entitled to their own preference. However after I married and returned to work she jokingly grabbed my hand and made a remark “Let me see this cheap ass ring. My hub hit it out of the park with a 1.5 VS2 G excellent cut Emerald solitaire set in a 1.42 pave setting w/ matching band. She put her catastrophe next to mine and said that hers was bigger. I felt so sorry for her apparent ignorance that I humbled myself and did not say a word. I am African Amercian, my hub is not. Regardless I would rather a plain white gold band before I wear something so tacky and low class .
This is just about the most racist thing I have ever seen. Race has nothing to do with it. My mother taught me how to know a good diamond among other things. She taught me not to make asinine statements. I have seen plenty of PWT with ugly jewelry simply because no one can teach you what they don’t know. OMG what a bunch of ignorant people you are to make blanket statements like that.
My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged and I have been on a mission to find an affordable ring as we have both been married before and this time around, neither of us feel it necessary for him to spend thousands & thousands of dollars on an engagement ring while he’s helping me put my son through college while simultaneously trying to buy a house or condo. I located a ring a one of my favorite jewelers and decided to Google the “style” for additional pictures, and what do you know…….there it is at the top of your page with “Hoodrat Chic” listed under it. For a moment I was highly offended and almost embarrassed, but then I had to think about it – that’s your opinion. Oh, and for the record, I am well versed on the 4 C’s and have studied gemstones and jewelry to great lengths. I echo the sentiments of JennPenn. It’s a matter of opinion, and let me say……I love the “hoodrat” ring, as well as the $20,000 3CT VVS1 stones. However, I don’t need, nor would I feel comfortable with that type of ring on my finger. My man loves me much more than the value behind those beautiful stones. Honestly, I’m what’s valuable – not the ring.
I came across this blog while looking up my ring. I am white and my engagement ring looks almost like the one you show at the top except a few different stones on the band and surrounding my invisible middle setting. My fiancé is also white and I picked it out. I don’t understand why this style is “hood-rat” since it is real white gold and contains over 36 diamonds of different sizes. When I wear out people stop and ask about it and just how beautiful it is. I hate to say it but if you turn up your nose at rings that are your opinion ugly or hood-rat maybe it is time to enjoy the real finer things in life. If i would have had my center 2 caret cent stone a solid stone instead of the invisible setting we might not own our own home. I got the ring, the man and the home and so be it if someone thinks it’s hood-rat.
Hello. I found your article an interesting read. You make some valid points. I’d like to share that I believe it’s more lack of education on the subject of what makes a diamond valuable or not. I think it’s important for sisters to know about the specifics of buying a diamond as it is an investment. With your knowledge you’d be ideal at
educating those who are interested in learning. I love jewelry & enjoy reading & educating myself on many different types of jewelry. Just recently my husband & i visited our nations capital. Upon visiting the museum of gems at the Smithsonion I thought i lost my mind. The Hope Diamond is truly a treasure to behold. I had an uncanny desire to clean it, it badly needed it. But dust & all i can’t find the words to describe it’s beauty. It had a definite spirit of it’s own. I fell in love with the gemstone beryl & couldnt wait to return home to start my quest of owning one. Im proud to say found a captivating stone. I’m a huge fan of gaudy jewelry & searching around on the subject I came across your blog & I’m glad I did. I look forward to reading more on your blog.
I love it keep writing i had to share this blog with my mother. She always told me “don’t let a man play you cheap cause we are worth it.” Not only that but hard times come at anytime at least you have something to cushion the blow ….. you never know
i love how you are so quick to judge peoples rings. i have a three stone and its fabulous. the center stone is one carat and the side stones are .25 each. so 1.5 carats total. a damn nice ring if i do say so myself…
Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it! Great post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed! Very useful info specifically the last part
This was the truest and funniest post I’ve read. A friend of mine has the “ratchet hoodchick” ring that is featured. I showed my white co-worker this post today and hid the title her first response: why would someone think that is acceptable? Who would wear that? Then i took her to my Friend’s FB page and showed her the exact hoodrific ring, and she covered her mouth and went to her desk. I too, am an April baby and was taught early on about the 4C’s and what to expect from a man. I’ll be married 12 years in June and have upgraded twice; both the other rings were clear I/ G and one cut was marquis and the other square. My husband decided to upgrade me himself with a beautiful 1.5 carat round center with a 1/2 carat diamond band.
Thank you Sheila & Sandy Coils! This article
was written in such poor taste! I guess if I drive
a Kia instead of a benz, i must be poor or I dont
know how to pick out a car. Solitaires, & 3 diamond
rings has been out for a long time. Invisible setting
rings has been out for just as long. I chose the ring
that you call a “hood rat” ring and I love it because its
different. Its what I wanted. I never conform to what society
says I should do. I could have had any ring I wanted, but I
chose my 72 diamond baguette, princess cut, & round diamond
“hood rat” ring. Also, I am marrying
the Love of My Life! Ladies for those of us that wear this beautiful
invisible setting princess cut ring & you are married to the Love
of your life, ignore articles like this from judgmental people. We can
wear what we want, as long as we love it!!